They proudly and prominently tie plastic grocery store bags onto the leash. They walk slowly, nod ever-so-pleasantly to you as you pass by, maybe raising the leash a little so you are sure to notice the bag tied there as the dog stops to do its business. But if you walk past and then very quickly turn around, you will see the dog's business on the lawn and the plastic bag is still tied to the leash!
They walk in tandem, matching their pace to one another, smartly dressed in almost-but-not-quite-matching jogging outfits. They could grace the next L.L.Bean cover. They loom large on the sidewalk as you approach. You wonder which one of them is going to go in front of the other to let you pass by. Should I feint left or right? You get closer. They are not moving. "I am not going to give up my space for them. I am not going to move. One of them is going to have to give way. I WILL NOT MOVE." I jump off into the street to avoid a collision.
There is that runner, too. Fast, sweaty, really sweaty, and very skinny. An unhealthy skinny. She is older, hair tucked into a baseball cap, wearing a tight runner's bra and biking shorts. Very tan, very wrinkled skin. She holds a bottle of water as she whizzes by.
There are the walking mommies - pushing strollers and chatting, looking at their newly done nails, texting, laughing, patting the child for a minute. No sweat there!
Me? I amble, listening to books on tape, wearing baggy clothing and a funky hat, thrilled I can get to the end of my walk without passing out.
There is now a solution - DNA testing of dog poop is being done in some communities!
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